Mama Matters - Dealing with Mum Rage

This week I got the rage. The Mum Rage. Proper shouty, snappy, having to walk away kind of rage. I really didn’t want to boil over and have Fox see me like this, but there were more than a few occassions when I just couldn’t stop it.

toddler tantrums and mum rage

Kids can really push our buttons, can’t they? How many times can you take them screaming for a biscuit, to ask them to put on their shoes, to stop the whiny demands?! I felt like a monster last week. I genuinely felt that I could feel my cortisol levels rise and rush through my veins. I absolutely hate feeling like that. A few weeks ago we had a ‘Sunshine’ week, called so after the days of Wonder Weeks, where we were always blaming this thing or that on the fact that he was probably in a leap. Yet it all felt like one giant leap to be honest!

I took to Insta to vent my rage and ask you about it. Some of the replies helped me calm down, see clearly, and more importantly, to know I wasn’t alone. I hope these comments help you too if you’re seeing red…

I’m very guilty of it [Mum rage]. I’m ultimately ‘bad cop’ Their Dad left us and gets to be Mr.Fun with no rules and I’m the one juggling chores, bills, discipline and homework. It’s hard not to be bitter and then be angry.

She has so much energy and needs to be entertained constantly or she gets bored easily. Which is hard when you’re trying to sort them both [kids] out and the house at the same time. I scream and shout daily which is never the kind of Mum I wanted to be. I also feel ridiculously anxious 95% of the time.

I just didn’t realise it would be THIS hard.

I know I was brought up having smacks as a kid and it being threatened as punishment and have always purposely not wanted to do it. But it’s hard because with an adult you’d use reason/arguement instead but a kid won’t listen so it’s hard to know where to go/what do it instead!

Remember their job is to keep pushing until they find the limit. Being sure on limits is comforting. Try and find a way of making them clear without feeling like you’ve failed.

That last one helped me so much. I hope it helps you too. Thank you to everyone who took the time to chat to me about Mum Rage and make me feel less alone.

When it got really bad I sat down and wrote about it. Reading it back the next day helped me see how it’s a fleeting moment. Some days will be tough, reaaly tough. But the next one may not be as bad.

I often take myself out of the situation. Fox knows I’m really cross if I just walk away and sit by myself. That usually happens after a big shout to be honest, but after that, he doesn’t seem to be as bad. I think sometimes it’s good for them to see us get upset. Especially if we can compose ourselves afterwards and be friends again. Last week after a particularly hard stand off between us, I said to him ‘Can we be friends now?’ and he pulled me into him and said ‘I love you so much’. So may the last comment of encouragement, from above, really does work?!

Do you get Mum Rage? Have any good coping strategies when they push you close to the edge? Leave a comment below, I’d love to hear from you.


Easy Christmas Crafting

Father christmas letter and decoration

I always imagined myself as a super crafting Mum and being an artist I think others may have expected the same from me too. However, with a 2 year old with an extremely short attention span, intricate family craft projects just aren't happening yet.

I wanted to make something whilst we wrote Fox's Father Christmas letter, when all the supplies were out and these mini tree decorations were a perfectly easy team effort.

Fox painted his unique take on the Big Man himself and got handy with the glue, whilst I did the boring bits!

To make your easy Christmas tree decoration, head down to the Poundland for the mini wooden frames I used, or check out similar ones here on Amazon

Step 1

Hold your frame on the other side of the paper that has your little one’s creation on it. Then draw round the inside of the frame. Cut a few mm wider than the line so you can stick it inside the frame and no paper will show on the outside edge.

Step 1 easy christmas tree decoration for toddlers
Easy toddler christmas tree decoration DIY
Step 2 easy toddler christmas crafts

Step 2

Use your first piece of paper to trace round the second drawing and cut that out.

DIY easy christmas crafts for toddlers and parents

Step 3

Stick down a ribbon or lace loop inside one of the little pictures. I used a glue roller, a saviour for no mess!

Ribbon and glue for childrens christmas crafts

Step 4

Glue the insides of your frames and stick your pictures in, then glue on top round the edges and stick both frames back to back to finish your creation.

Christmas tree decoration homemade
Childrens christmas tree craft project

I added Fox’s name and his age. I’d love us to make something each year to add to the Christmas tree as little keepsakes to look back on over the years!

So hey presto, a very easy, toddler friendly, minimal mess, Christmas tree decoration!